Friday, August 3, 2012

You Might Be a Writer, If......

My kid asked me the other day, how did I know I was a writer?  I hastened to stuff all the smart-alec responses back down.  I answered him, then laughed hilariously in my head when I ran down the list of the answers I had to quell.  Of course, right about that time I thought, this would make a great blog post.  So, without further ado, and with the most enormous apology to Jeff Foxworthy, I present The List:
  1. If you have to pull off to the side of the road to poke a great book idea into your smart might be a writer 
  2. If every person you have ever known appears in some form in your might be a writer.
  3.  If during a natural disaster, your order of importance is kids, laptop, and THEN might be a writer
  4. If you take your laptop on vacation and swear up and down you find writing your opus in the sun "relaxing" might be a writer.
  5. If the word "query" strikes greater fear in your heart than the word "audit" might be a writer.
  6. If you realize too late that you murmured your approval while in a caffeine-fueled writing-trance for what turns out to be a water hose fight INSIDE the might be a writer.
  7. If your heart stops beating if the area code (212) shows up on your cell phone might be a writer.
  8. If you watch credits roll on a movie and scan them for cool-sounding might be a writer.
  9. If the idea that Snooki has "written" a book repulses might be a writer.
  10. If your recipe cards are two pages long and have flowery descriptors, like "glistening" and "unctuous" and "playful" might be a writer.
  11. If there is not enough room for you in the memo portion of your might be a writer.
  12. If your thank-you cards turn into thank-you letters, and your thank-you letters turn into might be a writer.
  13. If you plan family vacations around might be a writer.
  14. If you can't afford new shoes, but find $400 for a writer's might be a writer.
  15. And finally, if the words "the end" give sweeter satisfaction than, well, you know.....then my friend, YOU ARE SO A WRITER!

How bout you guys?  Got any I missed?  I'd love to hear them!


  1. If you go on a vacation and find yourself thinking "this would make a great setting..." and then find yourself waving for your family to get out of the way whenever you take your pictures...

  2. If the cashier at the grocery store refuses to let you use the double coupon because it is out of date and she ends up dead, in your next book...

  3. If your Starbucks order isn't made to your liking and you threaten to blow up the building...

    1. In a book, right? *backs slowly away from the coffee counter*

  4. If you tell your dog, who's dancing around obviously in need of going pee-pee, let me finish this sentence and two paragraphs later you finally take him/her out....

  5. Ha ha, if you find yourself narrating scenes in your head as you watch them unfold around grocery store, your living room, might be a writer...

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  7. If you, like my best friend, have about a million voices in your head all clamouring for attention and you have to MAKE them wait their turn...

  8. Samantha, this is a WONDERFUL post! Congrats on being an excellent writer.:)

  9. If you hear of a tragedy and two thoughts run simultaneously through your head:
    1. Gee, that's awful - poor you.
    2. how can I use this in a story?

  10. I loved this! And yes, I plan around Nanowrimo :)

  11. LOL! Loved this post! I was basically nodding to every single thing on your list. :D

  12. If your stories give you story ideas.

    Great post!