A while ago Spellbound was entered into a contest called the Global Ebook Awards under a category eventually called Speculative Fiction-Fantasy category. Interestingly, this was NOT a Young Adult category. There was a Teen category but the judges didn't judge it that way. I first was notified that Spellbound was nominated about four months ago. Then promptly forgot about it.
About a month and a half ago, I was notified that Spellbound was a Finalist. This was the first time I got a little butterfly feeling. Then a funny thing happened.......after shouting about everything in my literary life for the last two and a half months or so on facebook and this blog, I just didn't mention it on the web at all. I also didn't even mention it to my husband or family or best friend. Isn't that strange? I was so afraid I would lose, I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone. It was that old self-doubt creeping in.
Even after I had Spellbound published, Ghostly on the way and The Detention Demon accepted and lined up by another publisher, I was still allowing my fears to get the better of me. I allowed this to go on for another couple of weeks while the emails from the Awards committee trickled in, about reserving tables at the banquet dinner and how judges were finalizing their decisions and so on. Then you know what happened? I got mad.
I in fact, got super pissed off at myself. What was it going to take? I had followers on my fan page who believed in me, fans of my work reviewing me who believed in me, even family members who believed in me. WHEN WAS I GOING TO BELIEVE IN ME? That day, and if you want to know the truth, it was just last Friday, I kicked myself in the butt, and me and my muse had a good talking to with myself. Being unemployed can really take an emotional toll on you. Well, me and the muse were SO OVER IT! We kicked me around the block a few times and at the end of it, I sobered up fast.
I went on my facebook page and announced I was a Finalist, maybe only a day before the Award was announced, but I did it. I put it all out there and exposed my soul. The response was so heartwarming. My friends came out and supported me. My husband and I couldn't afford to go the the Awards banquet in Santa Barbara but that's okay. Wanna know why?
Spellbound won the Global Ebook Award for Speculative Fiction-Fantasy and here is the sticker:
It is beyond cool that I won and that now my book, my debut novel, can be called Award-Winning and all that, but the best thing to me is that before it happened, I already won to myself. I validated myself. I believed in myself. A friend who is a fan told me, before I won, that I would be epic. She said I would be the author that everyone would be talking about. I don't know about that. But, at least I know that now when someone mentions me, I will be one of the people listening.