Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Changes...and why October is Now Known as Sucktober

As the title of this post would imply, October has not been the most fun month in recent memory. No kicky meme or graphic will grace this post.  I have a full plate and don't feel like animating it.

My father's family took two devastating hits this month.  My beloved Uncle Buddy passed away from an untimely heart attack.  He was taken at only 64, less than two years after retiring and fulfilling his dream to live the rest of his years in Mexico.  Sucktober.

Less than two weeks later, my father's wife passed, also as untimely, she from a seizure in a parking lot of a store.  Daddy is reeling from the one-two punch from Life and fighting a losing battle with his memory.  Hard days are ahead for us facing this life-changing eventuality. Sucktober.

I am also contemplating moving.  We have never been as happy where we are as we could be, and I yearn for a backyard for the kids.  I keep looking, and hoping to find soon.  Sucktober.

Okay, so the biggest sucky thing about October, about THIS October in particular, is that with Life bitch-slapping me around, I haven't wanted to write.  Like, at all.  I'm sure this will change as recent events are just taking all my emotional juice, juice I usually reserve for writing times.  But still, as much as I miss it and have over-crowded my mind with words not typed, I just can't do it yet.  Even writing this post is like pulling teeth.  Like if I say any of the bad things going on out loud, I give them power.  I just can't do that willingly.

Authorly speaking, i do have things going on.  Here's whats on deck:  I have a completed book in a just-begun series, and about 30K words on a second one.  A slew of appearances and signings will begin in just a few couple months and they could be great for my writing brand.  Bits and pieces of short stories are swirling around in the valuable real estate in my head (valuable only because it's scarce right now), and I have a great idea for an all-female authored anthology of creepy stories.  I even have a great name for it, and no, i will not tell you.  A girl's gotta have some secrets.

Through all this turmoil and change, I am reminded of one thing.  I am resolute.  I am positive. And I am a survivor.  The funniest thing was that even as I thought of this, I realized these are the same traits that make me a good author.

I am resolute because I can take the bad reviews, bad blog posts, and crappy writer's block.
I am positive because being positive is sometimes all I have.  That, and an insanely blank screen with a bitch of a cursor blinking at me.
And I am a survivor because I'll be goddamned if death, taxes or bad reviews is going to stop me from spilling my every little thought, freaky, sick, or otherwise, on the laptop of my choice.

I hope you feel the same way.

Hey.  Look at that.  I wrote something.
See?
I'm a positively resolute survivor.  Ha!

5 comments:

  1. Yes, you are a survivor, and a writer. I'm so sorry about the bad things that have happened to your family recently. It's always hard to lose beloved family members, whether it's expected or not. It does take the drive out of you. But I'm glad you're still blogging. And congrats on finishing the first in the series! The world wants to hear from you!

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  2. "Sucktober" only you my dear! Hahaha you're killing me! Like my Nan always said, "when life kicks you in the ass, turn around and laugh at it". Yep, you got that part down.

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  3. Sending you more positive thoughts. November will be better and it is the month to give thanks for the blessing we each have. Hang in there, you are a survivor and will come out stronger on the other end. Hugs!

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  4. These’ll also help immensely on your journey Upstairs, giving you incredible, indelible thots-to-ponder: Q: Why should you love our exploded plethora of produce which’ll plant the seeds for YOU to grow to great heights?? PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK:

    A: Greetings, earthling. Not sure if we're on the same page if you saw what I saw. Because I was an actual NDE on the outskirts of the Great Beyond at 15 yet wasn’t allowed in, lemme share with you what I actually know Seventh-Heaven’s Big-Bang’s gonna be like for us if ya believe/accept: meet this ultra-bombastic, ex-mortal-Upstairs for the most extra-blatant, catch-22-excitotoxins, myriads of cogently-ironic-metaphors, guhroovaliciousnessly-delicious-endorphin-rush, pleasure-beyond-measure, Ultra-Firepower-Idyllic-Addiction in the Great Beyond for a BIG-ol, kick-ass, party-hardy, robust-N-risqué, eternal-real-McCoy-warp-drive you DO NOT wanna miss the sink-your-teeth-in-the-rrrock’nNsmmmokin’-hot-deal: PLEASE KEEP HANDS/FEET INSIDE THE RIDE UNTIL WE MADE A CIRCUMFERENCE OF the OUTSTANDING, NEVER-ENDING, THRILLIONTH-RED-MARKER-POSSIBILITIES …with eXtra eXciting eXtroverts doing the most vivid, brazen congrewnts: flawless as pearls from the Toyster Upstairs!!! Gain altitude, not attitude, and take front-row-seats, as the inexhaustible, irresistible intimacy shall blow-your-fragile-mind to peaces, miss gorgeous. Meet me Upstairs. Do that for us. Cya soon, girl…

    PS “It is impossible that anyone should NOT receive all that they have believed and hoped to obtain; it gives Me great pleasure when they hope great things from Me and I will always give them more than they expect”
    -Our Lord to Saint Gertrude

    ReplyDelete
  5. These’ll also help immensely on your journey Upstairs, giving you incredible, indelible thots-to-ponder: Q: Why should you love our exploded plethora of produce which’ll plant the seeds for YOU to grow to great heights?? PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK:

    A: Greetings, earthling. Not sure if we're on the same page if you saw what I saw. Because I was an actual NDE on the outskirts of the Great Beyond at 15 yet wasn’t allowed in, lemme share with you what I actually know Seventh-Heaven’s Big-Bang’s gonna be like for us if ya believe/accept: meet this ultra-bombastic, ex-mortal-Upstairs for the most extra-blatant, catch-22-excitotoxins, myriads of cogently-ironic-metaphors, guhroovaliciousnessly-delicious-endorphin-rush, pleasure-beyond-measure, Ultra-Firepower-Idyllic-Addiction in the Great Beyond for a BIG-ol, kick-ass, party-hardy, robust-N-risqué, eternal-real-McCoy-warp-drive you DO NOT wanna miss the sink-your-teeth-in-the-rrrock’nNsmmmokin’-hot-deal: PLEASE KEEP HANDS/FEET INSIDE THE RIDE UNTIL WE MADE A CIRCUMFERENCE OF the OUTSTANDING, NEVER-ENDING, THRILLIONTH-RED-MARKER-POSSIBILITIES …with eXtra eXciting eXtroverts doing the most vivid, brazen congrewnts: flawless as pearls from the Toyster Upstairs!!! Gain altitude, not attitude, and take front-row-seats, as the inexhaustible, irresistible intimacy shall blow-your-fragile-mind to peaces, miss gorgeous. Meet me Upstairs. Do that for us. Cya soon, girl…

    PS “It is impossible that anyone should NOT receive all that they have believed and hoped to obtain; it gives Me great pleasure when they hope great things from Me and I will always give them more than they expect”
    -Our Lord to Saint Gertrude

    ReplyDelete