Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Changes...and why October is Now Known as Sucktober

As the title of this post would imply, October has not been the most fun month in recent memory. No kicky meme or graphic will grace this post.  I have a full plate and don't feel like animating it.

My father's family took two devastating hits this month.  My beloved Uncle Buddy passed away from an untimely heart attack.  He was taken at only 64, less than two years after retiring and fulfilling his dream to live the rest of his years in Mexico.  Sucktober.

Less than two weeks later, my father's wife passed, also as untimely, she from a seizure in a parking lot of a store.  Daddy is reeling from the one-two punch from Life and fighting a losing battle with his memory.  Hard days are ahead for us facing this life-changing eventuality. Sucktober.

I am also contemplating moving.  We have never been as happy where we are as we could be, and I yearn for a backyard for the kids.  I keep looking, and hoping to find soon.  Sucktober.

Okay, so the biggest sucky thing about October, about THIS October in particular, is that with Life bitch-slapping me around, I haven't wanted to write.  Like, at all.  I'm sure this will change as recent events are just taking all my emotional juice, juice I usually reserve for writing times.  But still, as much as I miss it and have over-crowded my mind with words not typed, I just can't do it yet.  Even writing this post is like pulling teeth.  Like if I say any of the bad things going on out loud, I give them power.  I just can't do that willingly.

Authorly speaking, i do have things going on.  Here's whats on deck:  I have a completed book in a just-begun series, and about 30K words on a second one.  A slew of appearances and signings will begin in just a few couple months and they could be great for my writing brand.  Bits and pieces of short stories are swirling around in the valuable real estate in my head (valuable only because it's scarce right now), and I have a great idea for an all-female authored anthology of creepy stories.  I even have a great name for it, and no, i will not tell you.  A girl's gotta have some secrets.

Through all this turmoil and change, I am reminded of one thing.  I am resolute.  I am positive. And I am a survivor.  The funniest thing was that even as I thought of this, I realized these are the same traits that make me a good author.

I am resolute because I can take the bad reviews, bad blog posts, and crappy writer's block.
I am positive because being positive is sometimes all I have.  That, and an insanely blank screen with a bitch of a cursor blinking at me.
And I am a survivor because I'll be goddamned if death, taxes or bad reviews is going to stop me from spilling my every little thought, freaky, sick, or otherwise, on the laptop of my choice.

I hope you feel the same way.

Hey.  Look at that.  I wrote something.
I'm a positively resolute survivor.  Ha!