Are all Writers Psychotic Like Me?

I was talking to a writer friend of mine last night and we got to the topic of our books. (Shocker, right?)  She was talking about how she never envisioned her 4 book series being a 4 book series in the beginning, but her main character just wouldn't shut up.  I totally understood.  I told her how when I sat down to write, I never outline.  In fact, I never know what I might write, except for the most vaguest of ideas, and when I come to three hours later, the story line is NOWHERE near where I thought it would go.  My characters take over and lead the story where THEY want it to go and all of a sudden there is a new character, a plot, a story arc I had no conscious knowledge of when I sat down three hours earlier.

She understood me completely and did not try to have me immediately and on the spot committed against my will.

It got me wondering....are all writers slightly psychotic?

I often feel that I have alters, individual beings that live inside of me that take me over as I write a la Tara from the United States of Tara.  If anyone ever read these posts I would love to take a survey if that happened to anyone else.  I am going to see if my new alleged "friends" on facebook might not wander over and take this challenge and answer me.  Lets see how effective facebook really is.  Standby, people.  The koolaid test is being administered.  Sip slowly.

Maybe I Don't Hate Facebook So Much

I don't think I'll ever love Facebook like some friends I know who do that farmville thing for way to many hours in the day, but maybe I don't hate it as much as before.  i still resent having to do it, but I will admit, I am understanding the appeal.  It is sort of neat to have friends from everywhere.  I mean, its only two days after I joined and somehow I already have 20 friends.  I have to thank a fellow author on Astraea Press, Crystal Ward, who was lovely to me.  I still am bumping around on there like a blind person and have no idea what I am doing, but she gave me some help.  And I am indebted to the marketing guru at Astraea for guiding me through the initial process of making my first page in the first place.  I am truly like a newborn baby learning to breathe on my own.  Thank you girls!

It is fun to learn about all my fellow authors at the publisher.  We all come from different places and have different backgrounds, but we have the one thing in common: we write.  And a really fun thing, one of my favorite authors, Sarah Dessen, just happened to me the featured interview in my copy of Writers Digest which came in the mail this week.  Besides my unemployment check (which has NOT arrived - pant, pant) this was the coolest thing to come in the mail in a long while.  Waay to many bills in that damn box recently.

The most amazing thing she said is that she didn't quit her day job until she had been publishing books for 9 years.  I'm sorry, excuse me, did you say nine years?  I thought so.  Pardon me for a moment while I freak out.  NINE YEARS!  That blew me whole three year plan.  I'm supposed to publish this first one, get super known, follow up with book two and three, get super duper well known, go mainstream with book four and at the end of year three, begin year four with a house I PAID CASH FOR, and start the year by writing full time for a living.  That's a three-year plan, not a NINE YEAR ONE!  *Insert dismayed look here.*  Look, I'm not looking for a Twilight kind of thing, but I really thought the 3-year plan was reasonable.  And stubbornly, I'm going to stick with it.  (Please don't keep these blogs longer than 2 years.  Thank you, whatever, move on.)

So, if anyone ever reads these blogs, do me a favor, go to my author fan page and my facebook page and friend me or like me or lick me or whatever you have to do to make me think the whole facebook thing wasnt just a huge timesuck.  And, thanks.  (shows all her teeth).

Finally joined Facebook

I have been against doing this for forever, but my publisher's marketing guru recommended that joining Facebook was a great thing to do before my book comes out.  And today is exactly two weeks from now when SPELLBOUND debuts.  So, I bit the bullet and did it.  I made what she called and author fan page.  It took me forever because I have absolutely NO IDEA what I was doing, but I have a page on Facebook now.  I swore I never would and now, please pass the ketchup, because I have to eat my words.

I refuse to post pictures.  I have friends who do this, literally, for several hours a day.  Like this could actually be a second job for them.  I just finished making the stupid page and I am so mad how long it took.  I barely got it going and family found me and kept trying to friend me.  I didn't even know that could be a verb.  And how behind in this I am is that I am sure that is a super old joke.

I used the cover art for my book as my profile picture.  Part of me thinks that is cheating and the other part of me thinks that is a friggin' brilliant idea.  Then another part of me (I come in thirds, apparently) thinks if I thought of it, someone else probably already did.  So, I want to research FB and see if someone already did.  Except I don't know jack about navigating the stupid site, so I can't.  Then I'm mad again.  I spent a lot of tonight mad.  In fact I'm even typing pretty hard right now.

Choppy and displaced segue:  TV show I'm watching right now that makes me mad every time an episode ends (which is one of it's marketing campaigns and is SO TRUE) is The Killing on AMC.  Taut, gripping, exceptionally cast and acted, I salivate at ten minutes till 7 every Sunday night.  Do. Not. Miss. It.  Very good advice.

Too mad and tired from posting on stupid Facebook to write anymore.  Good night.

Doubt

My book is coming out in less than two weeks, so Doubt has entered the picture, right on time.  Here are my worries:  First, I am worried that it won't sell.  It's not like I'm hanging all my hopes on it.  I'm still unemployed and sales would be nice, but at the point, I am not even counting the book as part of any income at all.  But my great fear is that after friends and family I have strong armed and guilted into buying at least 1-3 copies get in there, then there won't be any sales after.  I suppose what I am afraid to say, is I am afraid of failing.

I read all the time on my blogs and Linked In account groups about people who self-published and their books are just sitting there doing nothing, no sales, no nothing.  Now, I know I am different in a number of respects. 

First off, I did not self-publish.  I have a publisher, the wonderful Astraea Press.  And second of all , those authors probably didn't market like crazy as I intend to.  With the backing of my great publishing house and how madly I intend to work, I don't really believe I'll fail, but I can't help the Dreads from creeping in.  It must be a little bit because I'm unemployed and all that goes along with that when you are used to working for a living.  My friend keeps telling me to get used to it, that when I finally realize I should be writing for a living and that that is work, I'll finally realize I'm not really unemployed.  Hmmmmm?????

On A Roll

It's true what they say about the muse.  Sometimes she sits dormant and sometimes she strikes with a vengeance.  Following my surgery, I was feeling down and not at all like writing.  I feared I would never get the urge to write again.  In fact, I was really beginning to worry that I was slipping into the dreaded 'slump' I have read so much about happening to other writers.  I didn't want to slide into that black hole.

And then it happened.  I wasn't feeling fantastic this weekend.  But, I got my muse back.  It wasn't like a page ripped from the Whistle While You Work page, wood creatures didn't bound into my house and scamper around with stationary or anything, but my muse did indeed return.  And I'll tell you what......she returned all fierce-like.  I started writing Saturday afternoon and with only mildly annoying interruptions (to feed myself and my family, to play several teeth-gnashing rounds of Go-Fish with a five-year old and a deck with half the cards missing, to search the house for a Barbie Fashion Fever DVD, and to find a Star Wars figurine for an 8-year old) I wrote through that day and most of Sunday until well past midnight both nights.

When I started I had no idea where the story arc was going and when I finished I can barely get the words on the screen fast enough.  The storyline is tumbling out of my fingers and head so fast I can't keep up.  Even more amazingly, I am writing two books at once.  One is the sequel to SPELLBOUND I had been temporarily log jammed on (not anymore!) and another is a new one I have just started and I am super excited about.  I also roughed out outlines for two other extremely promising ideas.  I feel quite fertile, speaking in the literal sense.  The MUSE is back, baby!

.

Cover Art Is In!

I am excited to say that today, more than ever, my book being published seems real.  Yesterday, I received the cover art.  It is absolutely gorgeous.  Beyond gorgeous.  And it is an actual cover, not something photoshopped.  The artist, the seriously talented Elaina Lee, had a model and she painted it from the model.  I'm sure I sound as green as they come, but clearly I DID NOT KNOW that is how it was done.  This was no cover created from your nephew's computer, honey.  What she did is mystical and magical and perfectly, perfectly suited to the mood and tone of my book, SPELLBOUND.  She captured the right atmosphere and elements and I could not be more thrilled with it.

Having an actual cover means there is an actual book.  I feel validated.  As we get closer to the release date, I begin to feel more like a real writer.  Of course, the second I wrote those words, the writer in me began screaming and stamping her foot. 

"What do you mean 'a real writer?  What the hell do you think you are now?"

I'll admit, being off work (ok, unemployed, I just hate that word.  *off-work* sounds more like it was my decision, at least) makes me feel like I am a writer.  Like, traipsing around in flip-flops midday is how I would choose it, given the choice.  But, somehow, even though I have a book coming out, I still feel a bit off answering, "I'm a writer." to questions of, "So, what do you do?"  I wonder, how many books do you have to write before that answer doesn't sound like a lie?

Another Celebrity Book

So, I am sitting here watching American Idol with my kids and they announce that one of the judges, Steven Tyler, from the band Aerosmith, has just hit the bestseller list with his recently published memoir.  ANOTHER person who is published and making the millions I am sure I am supposed to be making.  Although, I give him some credit here because he has published a book I actually want to read.  Not like Snooki's magnus opus about balling boys on South Jersey beaches and the like from the host of instant celebrities shoved down our throats these days.  Anyways.....

My publisher says I should be receiving proofs of the book cover shortly.  I am very anxious to see what the concept came out to look like.  I was included in the concept insofar as what I wanted to have on the cover, such as my ideas and such, but the actual application of the ideas is happily left up to the brilliance of a graphic artist.  So, I am anxious.

And still unemployed.  I am trying not to get too down about it, but some days it gets to me.  I mean, I know I am fantastic, how can they not?   But, I digress.  Stay tuned for cover art!

Mother's Day wishes

I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day.  I did.  My children are at the age when they can pick out the cards now and my son was so excited for me to read the one he and his sister picked it.  it was humorous and had a cuss word in it and he was nearly delirious with joy when I opened it.  Worth all the money in the world to watch him dying when I busted up with laughter.  I thought it was great when they were toddlers but I am absolutely loving this age.  it's like I have these two little friends living in the house with me, sharing sodas and watching Glee together.  My son is even writing and reading, to my great joy.

I don't have a job yet but the calls are starting to come in and the prospects look rosier than last week and waaaay better than the week before that.  I feel better.  It's life-affirming to be wanted, in a weird way, even by strangers.

I'm healing from the surgery too.  Only hurts when I bend, and sit in hard-back chairs.  And I should get an unemployment check at the end of the week.  First one.  And not a moment too soon, may I say.  So, things are not too bad right now.  Today is a good day.  And it's early yet.

Release Date for SPELLBOUND

Hello, just a quickie today.  I received word from my publisher, Astraea Press, that barring any unforeseen circumstances, SPELLBOUND has a tentative release date of June 7, 2011.  I will post as soon as the book is ready for purchase and review.  I am tremendously excited, it should go without saying.  Also, this is impressive from my publisher, since they are located in Alabama and weathered the recent storms and flooding that swept through five southern states, Alabama being one of them.  They came through it okay, but many of their neighbors did not.  Good thoughts to all.

I hope SPELLBOUND is enjoyed and I am hard at work on the sequel, a work in progress I am calling SPELLBOUND, BOOK TWO: UNEARTHED.  If you enjoy the first one, you'll love the second!  I hope to finish it within a months time and am hopeful Astraea will want it as much as they wanted the first!  Fingers crossed!

Back After Surgery!

Hello!  I know it has been awhile but not for lack of me wanting to stay away.  I had surgery on the 21st to remove a tumor on my ovary and there is good news and bad news.  The bad news is they had to take the ovary and the recovery was the most painful thing I have ever endured, including having kidney stones and giving birth twice.  The good news, actually make that the GREAT news is they found NO CANCER!  Woo-hoo!  Which I was terrified of all along because there is quite a bit of cancer on my maternal side.

I am recovering nicely now, almost a week and half later.  I am also getting back in the job-hunting swing.  You might remember I lost my job the 2nd week of April.  Basically, the month of April was a suck-fest.  It can only get better from here.  I've had some nice responses from resumes sent out and phone calls and am looking forward to some good interviews.

What I am also looking forward to is getting back to writing.  Best thing about being chock-full of painkillers twenty four hours a day is some incredible dreams.  Which I had the presence of mind to write down and are now making some killer outlines for storylines!  Vicodin is AWESOME for that.  I am glad to be off of them now, though.  The dreams were beginning to get a bit whackadoodle.  But I have at least three new ideas to flesh out.  Cool, right?

So, the take-away from all of this is if you have to have surgery and take painkillers, make SURE you have a notebook (or in my case, a Blackberry with the MemoPad icon, love that thing) to make note of every freaky thought you have.  And stay tuned.  Hopefully, in the next six months or so, you see the fruit of my labor in another book! :-)